Samurai Wright
by DoctorOcsid
Summary: Phoenix Wright is flung into the future after his attempts to stop the dastardly villain, Miles Edgeworth. Can he return to the past and end Edgeworth's reign of terror! Also, why did I even write this?


Samurai Wright

Phoenix Wright sat alone in his home, drinking out of an empty cup. This particular day he had decided to waste looking at the Victoria's Secret catalog.

"Hm, perhaps I should purchase this pink frilly training bra… it would make a good colander," said Wright, taking a sip of air.

Suddenly, Wright's ears perked up at the oh-so subtle sound of his door being beaten down.

"What the fucking shit hell in the crappy-ass dick tits?!" said Wright, spilling his cup of air all over the ground. He leapt up from his chair and shot his gaze over to his door just as it busted off his hinges.

"Wrightinator!" said Klavier Gavin, who was still holding the door that he had used to bust Wright's own door down.

"Klavier, you sodding twat!" said Wright. "Haven't you ever heard of keys?!"

"Nope!" said Klavier, suddenly lobbing the door at Wright. Wright skillfully dodged as the door sailed past him and crashed through his window.

"Wow, you have shit reflexes," said Klavier. "Anyway, I decided to waltz over to your shithole of a house to warn you that HE is back. Ja ja ja I'm German."

"WHAT?!" said Wright. "It can't be true! I thought he was killed in the Sex War of 2016!"

"It seems he survived that giant boat of gravy somehow," said Klavier, leaning against the door frame. "And now he wants revenge."

"Shit!" said Wright, rushing over to his closet and grabbing his standard-issue Lawyer samurai sword. "Alright, don't worry! No more will this city cower under the tyranny of this stupid poopy fart head! MILES EDGEWORTH, PREPARE YOURSELF!" And with that, he dashed out the door.

"Yeah, good luck with that," said Klavier, opening Wright's fridge so he could steal all his beer.

OCTOBER 17TH, 2018

1:04 PM, MILES EDGEWORTH'S FLYING SKY FORTRESS

Miles Edgeworth sat on his porcelain throne, taking a sip from his teacup because he's British. For nearly two years, Edgeworth was thought to have been long dead, but as you can tell because he's sitting right here, he's not.

"Ahhhhh," said Edgeworth in his British accent because he is British, "I do love tea. Because I am British." Edgeworth, however, did not have much time to enjoy his tea, because his minion of love, Larry Butz, sprinted into his presence.

"Lord of Edge! Phoenix Wright has returned, and he is here to kill you!"

"WHAAAAAT?!" said Edgeworth as his teacup exploded in his hand. "Impossible! I thought he was killed in the Sex War of 2016!"

"That was you, my Lord."

"Oh, yeeeeeah!" said Edgeworth. "Thank you for reminding me! I almost forgot because I'm mentally retarded!"

"You're welcome, Lord Edgey," said Larry. "But what are you going to do about Samurai Wright?!"

"Simple," said Edgeworth as the camera zoomed in on his face. "I am going to fight him… UNTIL HE DIES!"

"Wait, so like, you're gonna fight him until you kill him?"

"Well, I did mean I was gonna fight him until he died of old age, but I like your idea better."

Anyway, Samurai Wright suddenly bursted in through the doors of the Edge Fortress.

"EDGEWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORTH!" screamed Wright.

"Ow, don't shout so fucking loud, I'm right here!" said Edgeworth, covering his ears. "My poor eardrums!"

"You won't need eardrums where you're going," said Wright, pulling out his samurai sword.

"...Deaf People's Anonymous?"

"No! HEAVEN!"

"Wait, Heaven? Not hell? Well, that's a relief-" but Edgeworth was cut short as he was penetrated by Wright's long, girthy blade.

"Oh, owie," said Edgeworth as Wright removed his sword from Edgeworth's body.

"You have been defeated, villain!" said Wright, as he prepared to strike the final blow.

"No, I think not!" said Edgeworth, as he made a hand gesture.

"Wow, Edgeworth, that's a really rude hand gesture!" said Wright. But what he did not know was that a portal was opening behind him.

"Wait, a portal is opening behind me?!" said Wright, but it was too late. Wright was sucked into the portal.

"Hah!" said Miles, removing his sword-proof vest. "I have tricked the foolish samurai! I won! Eat my ass, Wright!"

Meanwhile, Wright was flying through the portal and screaming and stuff. You know how it is.

"AAAGH GOD DAMN IT MILES YOU FUCK SHIT" said Wright, but it was in vain as he was dumped out of the portal into a new, unfamiliar land.

gotta get back

back to the past

SAMURAI WRIGHT

wa-chaa

TO BE CONTINUED.


End file.
